"Quiet Time with G-d & the Multiverse" by An

“All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly alone“ says Blaise Pascal who was one of history’s great pioneers in math and sciences. When I first heard of this phrase, it sounded so ridiculous that much of our problems or struggles start from and could be overcome by cultivating silence. Many of Pascal’s pioneering achievements in geometry, physics, and natural sciences had been discovered in his teenage years – what could he possibly be missing? Perhaps Pascal discovered in the midst of his external, worldly success there was still much turmoil and emptiness in his interior soul.

Two years ago in February, I had recently buried my father who slowly died of kidney failure, and then a week later, I lost my tech job for 20 years when it was outsourced. What do I do? Where do I go? Physically and mentally, I felt like a Zombie, living in limbo. I was experiencing winter alright, the winter of my soul. With no job to go to, I started going to daily mass and on one Friday morning, I spent extra silent, quiet time alone with G-d in front of the tabernacle. I had no idea that day would be a turning point. With the Blessed Sacrament in front of me, the conversation of my mind and spirit with Jesus went something like this:

Me: “Jesus, I really don’t know what to do with my life now; I feel burned out from the crazy stressful job for the past few years, not living in the present moment and missing out on life. Yet I feel a lack of purpose not working; maybe it’s a chance to start fresh, please let me know what I should do?

G-d (as spoken in my conscience): “Perhaps you are focusing too much on yourself? Look beyond yourself and trust me to guide you a day at a time.”

Me: “You’re right God, I need to stop focusing on myself, I’ve been moping and having self-pity parties. Help me overcome this. Perhaps I will help a poor person or someone in need today, can you send someone?

G-d: (Silence)

I did the sign of cross, and headed out. As I was at the entrance façade of the church, a woman (likely in her early 60s) walked up from the streets towards me. Nobody was around, just me and her (very bizarre!). She was not a parishioner and must have walked for a long way with her restless face and tiring posture. I’ve encountered gypsies and fraudsters before and I knew she was not one. She asked me plainly, “Sir, can you help me? I’m being evicted from my residence today and need to move to another place.” At that moment, I was so shocked realizing immediately this was not a coincidence, but a God-incidence from my prayer request. So I did what I could to help her. I recruited my daughter as I picked her up from 1⁄2 day school and we spent the whole day helping Joy move to a temporary place of shelter. We didn’t have a moving truck nor did I have the strength or skill of a professional mover. Nevertheless, we made several trips back and forth from one city to another together in an overstuffed mid-size car with all her things. We even ate Mc’Dees meals together while driving as she shared with me bits of her life story. Talking about happy meals, this was an interesting one. It turns out she (I’ll call her Mrs. Joy) had been an Art teacher, was in big debt, jobless (like me at the time), and did not have family or community for support. Mrs. Joy was intelligent and had been trying to get a job teaching but I suspect with her age, it was difficult.

Photo: This was taken inside my car filled with Joy’s belongings. I took it as a memoir to never forget how I knew it was Jesus in disguise that day helping Mrs. Joy (in sweater hat in the passenger seat.) Joy is not her real name which is used to protect her identity.

By the end of the evening, I was exhausted and everything just felt so surreal. My background as an Engineer and Science could not put logic to it, telling me it just seems improbable what just occurred. Yet my heart and soul reminded me, “It’s what you asked for from Jesus. So stop the stinking thinking!” Moments like this only make sense with the eyes of faith. And faith, now I know, is cultivated in silence by “sitting quietly alone, spending time with G-d.” Encountering and helping someone like Mrs. Joy really put things into perspective. G-d transformed my problems and struggles to help others and filled me with gratitude. My soul became invigorated again and it helped me focus on choosing my next career path to be in service to others, to be a teacher (which I am now).

I’m convinced that quiet time with God reveals amazing things about our self and plans God has for each of us. But most importantly, our intimate relationship with Him is real and tangible in the mysterious world, intersected by physical and spiritual realities. Our problems and struggles become part of His-story. Saint Mother Teresa of Calcutta knew this powerful secret as she writes “In the silence of the heart God speaks. It is only when you realize your nothingness, your emptiness, that God can fill you with himself”. And when we have God in us and with us, we are fearless!

In a world full of noise filling our minds, provoked with emotions by millions of artificially produced sights, words, and sounds, the online chatter of the world on social media, apps, news, etc; are digital voices demanding our time and attention, and even stiffening original thought. I wonder if we’ve lost a sense of “who we are'' and are unknowingly entrapping ourselves in a virtual fish bowl. Times and cultures may change, but human nature doesn’t, so Pascal was not exempt from this (although there was no internet in the 1600s). He wrestled much with his own addiction to gambling, pride, doubts, and other unguarded passions. It would be in his adult life, he became a devout Catholic, becoming also a Theologian writing one of the great theological theses, the Pensees.

Pascal was not the only one that discovered the power in silence. The famous Asian philosopher LaoTse says “Silence is the great source of strength”, and the teaching of Buddha writes “Silence isn’t empty, it’s full of answers.” To me, the greatest answer of silence in action was exemplified in Jesus’ death sentence where Governor Pontius Pilate (in an excruciating moment) said: “Why are you refusing to say something! Don’t you realize I have the power to free you or to crucify you?” And Jesus (calmly) replied: “You have no power over me, not unless it was willed from (my Father) above.” - John 19:10-11

Nothing has power over us when we truly have G-d. As we spend quiet time with G-d regularly, we will discover the hidden metaphysical mystery that sets us free. Free like Jesus we become calm, peaceful, playful like a child, even in the midst of struggles or problems. You can fill-in your own blank(s) _________. Most importantly, behind the threshold of silence is the “Author of life”; awaiting a love story between you and Him in eternal friendship. St. Teresa of Avila writes in her diary what G-d said to her “I would create the universe again just to hear you say, ‘YOU LOVE ME’.” Now that’s a real B.F.F! Perhaps this is why multi-verses could exist? Lol. (Pufff! mind blown)

So don’t take Pascal’s or anybody’s word for it. Try spending quiet time with G-d regularly (especially in front of the Blessed Sacrament) and see for yourself.

Blogger’s note: G-d is written with a silent “-“ as a Hebrew tradition of reminding us that words are never sufficient to define or bound G-d who is eternal, infinite mystery.

Be awesome and blossom 🌱

By: chu An